The Cinema (A rewrite)

This is a rewrite of story in Level 41 of The Wicked

After all the mindless hassles, you arrived at the cinema. Your neck was taut, as though challenging anyone nearby to to snap it. You turn your head this way and there in the sudden, jerky movement like that of a bird. You were only able to do this because you are a complete cuckoo, but at that point of time you didn’t realize this.

A tiny little kitten approached you, purred softly at you seemingly for your love and affection. Once the kitten was convinced that it had tamed you, it sank its claws into your shoe, and promptly broke all the claws on the right paw.

The kitten made a weird face, which presumely was the kitten’s way of expressing complete shock and disappointment. You extended your feet and exerted a huge force on it, and the kitten ran away with the tail tucked between its hind legs in search of its mummy. A few seconds later, a walking mass of protein with long hair who could hardly see what was on the ground due to restricted head movement brought about by the additional cushion on his neck, stepped on the kitten accidentally spattered its guts and intestine all over the floor.

The mass of protein was later arrested by the police for being a murder suspect because of the blood stains on his shoe. Coincidentally, he was an NUS law student.

You, oblivious to the fate of the kitten and protein mass, carried on searching for any sign of Janice, or any sign of what to do next. Then, a light tap on your shoulder so stunned and startled you that you spun around and elbowed the huge left breast of the girl who tapped you. There was a huge pop and the left breast rapidly shrink in size. The girl looked so unbalanced now that you elbowed her right breast as well as an act of courtesy.

That girl was Janice. Relieved that her breasts are symmetrical once again, she smiled at you as question marks popped around in your head. You had thought she was in trouble, but apparently she was every bit as free as the mass of protein was not.

Without so much as a word, Janice practically threw herself at you and began kissing you all over your face. Ok, licking would be a better word, but when she began swallowing all the oil and dirt that had accumulated on your face over the past 3 weeks, you threw your mental dictionary out of the window.

When she was done with cleaning up your face, she spoke,

“You are really a smart guy! I love smart guys!”

“HUH?”

“Well you see, all those clues you found were all set by me. My intelligence told me that you have been eyeing me secretly during the physics lecture every week. You look kind of cute, but being as intelligent as I am, I expect my boyfriend to be as intelligent as well. Since you have followed the clues I left behind and came here because of your own effort, I’ve decided to just ask you to be my boyfriend. So how about that? A ‘yes’? Or a ‘no’?”

“Unfortunately, a ‘no’.”

“Why? I thought you were secretly admiring me!”

“No. I was trying to count the number of worms crawling in your hair during those boring lectures where the lecturers probably know the subject matter much less than I. I came here because I thought you were in trouble and I had to save you so that I can continue counting the number of worms in your hair so as to relieve my boredom during physics lectures. Since you are all right, I’ll take my leave.”

With that, you turned and headed home, with Janice staring at you as you disappear into the crowd.

As it turned out, there was a curious newspaper article the next day about a dead body found with a nest of worms at where the brain should be.