Self Worth

I realized that many of those around me, especially JY, who due to the intense competition, stress and workload in SMU, are starting to doubt their self-worth.

This blog entry is dedicated to JY.

It is pointless to constantly measure yourself against others. No matter how good you think you are, there will be someone even better.

I was in a modest neighborhood primary school, and for some reason, without even putting in extra effort or boring stuff like tuition, I managed to be the top 20th student in the entire cohort in my primary 2. My mother saw my potential from there and decided to start pushing me to excel academic. Its like realizing the strength of an unpolished metal rod and then start to grind it into a needle. Things went on from there, I was ranked 7th in the entire cohort in Primary 3 and I proceeded to enjoy being in EM1.

Despite topping the class in my earlier years, once I was in EM1 I was unable to shine, shadowed under so many other brighter stars. At that young age, I wasn’t really thinking that much yet, I was able to keep up my morale and pace, eventually ended up being top 5 student in my class (and the entire school) and proceeded on my merry way The Chinese High School.

The Chinese High School is an elite school in Singapore, and in my opinion the best school to go if you want to get all rounded education. Schools like Raffles only focus on grades, TCHS focus on character development, using traditional chinese sayings and teachings. On top of being given the best education, we are also groomed to be fine cultivated gentleman who speaks vulgarities.

In Chinese High, competition was fierce. The best of the best are all gathered here. I was outshined. I lost heart. I fell to the back. I ended up in the last class. Everyone was so much better than me. But I don’t care. I found my love. I found my passion. Programming.

Instead of spending hours on homeworks and preparing for tests, I spent hours doing programming and learning new stuff from the internet. It was something I truly believed in and something through which I can find my self-worth. I bet my classmates know nuts about what a boolean is.

Then, after losing interest in String Orchestra, I joined EC3, the computer club in TCHS. As it turned out, everyone has godly skills. Many of them are already of professional level (on par with working adults in the IT profession). Almost all of them are from Gifted Education Program. Pprogramming, something which I had find my self-worth in, became meaningless. There are so many people who are infinity times infinity better than me. I am just a perfect newbie compared to them. I was out shined again.

I lost heart in programming. I lost heart in studies. Like a lost sheep I ended up in AJC, which in my opinion was one of the lousiest JC in Singapore.

I wanted to go to a lousy JC. I thought that I would shine in a neighborhood JC. I was wrong. My grades did not improve. I had to find my self-worth. I ran for an election for presidency of AJC Computer Club. My landmark speech won me a landslide victory. However, because of my rebel status I was only given the seat of the vice-president. I’m ok. The president was so useless that I was practically running the club with the other vice-president only. Still, I found some form of self-worth here.

Meanwhile, I realized that programming isn’t everything. There are so many people who can program. What really matters are ideas. I have tonnes of ideas, even from primary school my essay teachers have been saying that I am creative. I refused to believe in it. I mean, how exactly do you define creativity? I do not think creativity is a constant. It does not happen all the time. I thought that creativity was luck.

However, when the online puzzle I created became a local sensation, and I became a cult celebrity of some kind for that fleeting moment until I decided to stop doing the puzzles and to concentrate on my grades so that I could go to SMU, I was living in paradise. People love my puzzle. People say I am creative. People, as in many many many people. After having my self-worth denied so many times, I thought that I have finally done something that no one else can best me in.

Now I came to SMU, I am no longer worried. Sure. Dick can beat me in Econs. Tom can beat me in programming, and Harry can beat me for having a more hairy dick, but should I care? No. I learn Econs at my own pace. I learn programming at my own pace. I am not worried, for I know I need not find my self-worth in all these nitty gritty things any more.

So, JY, explore, discover yourselves. There will certainly be something you can do better than anyone else. Both of you are very admirable people in my opinion. You just need to discover what gives you your sense of self-worth. There is no need to feel threatened just because you were bested at something.

Even if someone outshined you in what you thought you do best, there is always something else, another potential in you. You just need to really know yourself.

More, I want more!

Yet more projects are coming up.

Time management tested to the limit. All my homework are done on bus journeys now.

Perfect preparation for the working world.

Case Facilitation

Today was the day that I have been worried out. I know myself that I am not a very good speaker in front of audiences, and I had the luck of being in the first group to conduct a case facilitation during IS101, Seminar on Information System Management. We spent lots of effort in this, rehearsing and rehearsing, but ultimately we could not anticipate what points that classmates would mention during the course of our discussion. I also initiated the idea of giving out free lollipops for those who participated and thank you my sister for helping me shop for the sweets.

During yesterday’s rehearsal I was pretty nervous, and my face turned red the moment I stood up to share my part. After going through nearly 4 drafts of prepared questions and anticipated answers, I decided to just leave it to the class to provide me with the content for my part of the case discussion.

Today, before the case facilitation, I told myself to to put on a mask. Since weikiat can’t speak well, let me pretend to be acting as someone who can. I went up, the whole thing was a blur, and I was done with the discussion even before I know it. I know, I went too fast, and weiyi could detect shivers in my voice, but looking at the peer reviews right now, I felt happy that we had done a good job.

Here are some extracts of the peer reviews.

Case presented was very interactive and presenters are able to get the audiences to input their comments and views on the case discussion itself. Most of the speakers presented well and covered the essential topics and points that are brought up in the PSA case.

Good initiatives to make the class interactive by using sweets as a motivation factor. Highlighted the key points of the PSA report though I was hoping to see more of CITOS. Nonetheless, the team had set a high benchmark for the remaining teams.

I believe the case facilitation went well as well. It would be good if the first speaker cuts down on his “Errrr”. Other than that, the discussion went pretty well, this can be evident by the responses from the class. Just a feedback, the sweets given in class might have serve as a little distraction at certain point. Overall, the team managed to lead us to discuss on the case with the questions asked by them.

I feel that the presentation was a bit rush but nevertheless the job did a great job in explaining the case through engaging the whole class with sweets.

I felt that not enough information was brought by the team to get the class to fill in more details. Like statistics or numbers to show us how great or bad the situation is etc.

I personally feel it was good on the case presentation. Key points were touched on and elaborated. Perhaps a point for improvement would be writing on the board neatly for better presentation.

I personally felt that group 7 did a rather excellent case facilitation today. The idea of rewarding class participation greatly helped the class to be more active in joining the debate and discussion. In terms of clarity, I believe most of the group members were able to bring out the case to the class. There were points of time where the presenters were unable to get the right information from the audience but overall I would say thumbs up for the group for their first attempt!

I strongly believe the overall group has done a pretty good job at diverting the focus point of the class, in the right direction, and providing a good learning curve through the simple questions asked.

They have displayed a very good and simplified sense of the case study, and had brought forth very good key pointers which allowed me to better understand the case and the overall picture of how PSA functions and operates.

Great job guys! =)

I think group 7 did a great job in case facilitation although some group members spoke too fast and sometimes made it hard for me to catch what they were trying to explain. Otherwise I think they put a lot effort into this case facilitation and understood the topic well. To comment overall, I think the group needs to improve on organizing the parts and to explain more clearly on the points they are trying to make.

I think that they were good considering that they were the first group and they do not have any thing or any one to model after. I think that wei kiat, saurabh and aisyatus were very good at getting the class to response. I think eaint should try to maintain more eye contact.

I think their way to present is creative, in the sense they just did not have many slides and got class participated involved. They summaries some key concepts from the case study and helped us reviewed the case.

Interactive. Good motivation by offering sweets to answer questions. Case being presented was clear. Issues dealt covers whats written in the notes.

It is very clear in their elaborating the PSA case and they did communicate with the class to get the target.

Nice initiative of giving out sweets during the facilitation. But apart from that, I think the team did quite well by trying to point out the key factor and points of the case study. Not much to complain about except i think Eanit might speak a bit too softly thru out the last part.

Overall I feel that they have done well. I especially like how they used the whiteboard instead of powerpoint and their idea of giving out sweets to encourage participation.
Perhaps Saurabh covered too much as compared to his groupmates.
Eaint was a little too soft.

Overall, the discussion was constructive and helped understanding. The idea of giving out lollipops to those who have attempted to try and participate in the discussion was great. However, members should organize the points and plan in a more proper way when writing down the information on the whiteboard to prevent a mess which might cause misunderstanding and confusion.

Saurabh tend to speak a little too fast, it would be better if you could slow down abit. Great job trying to link the problems PSA faced and the solutions answering to these problems! (weikiat: this part was mine )Thanks for the sweets too!

Team 7 adopts a ‘free lollipop’ for every participation by the class. An interesting way to spice the class participation.
They also did well in terms of bring the main gist of the case to the class, and guiding the answers out of the class by prompting back suggestive questions.
However, improvements can be made by using more ‘props’ in class, instead of just using the whiteboard. In addition, the way they write down the key points on the board are a little over the place and messy. Powerpoint slides are also a little dull. Improvements can be done in these areas.

Team 7 generally dissected the case well into the various sections, but I felt they could be more organised in presenting and showing the linkage between the facts to aid in understanding.

Team 7 have facilitated very well. They are very engaging and managed to aid me in analysing PSA’s case. They have covered a lot of IT solutions as well as the competitive edge of PSA.

Team 7 presented tty the case on PSA pretty well, and made it feel like a class room session similar to last week.

The case facilitation today was very interesting which allows me to know more about the business processes of PSA. Having discussion with the class helps to generate more ideas that can be shared among the class. Additionally, the group members were very well-organised and structured.

The case facilitation was very interactive and it got every student much more involved. As the mood of facilitation was much lighter with comparison to the usual lecture, more students opened up and allowed us to have much more insights and perspectives. Very well organized as well.

The case was presented in a simple manner, which was good as it made understanding the article easier. The article was not easily understood as there were many terms that I was unfamiliar with, but the group made the article understandable. However, the presenters moved onto their next points too quickly, which may result in some peers being unable to follow or to give more input. A slower pace would give more students a chance to participate, or even calling on some who are inactive in speaking out would be beneficial to them.

The facilitation was clear and managed to involve the whole class in the discussion. It wasn’t too serious and rather laid back.
However, I found that the powerpoint slides weren’t really needed at all because I was too busy concentrating on what the presenters were writing on the board.

The facilitators did a good job in leading the facilitation and having interaction with the class.

The group is nice to give out sweets,a boost for an early morning session.They managed to drive the class as a whole to come out with ideas for portnet.however i am kind of confused when they initially talk about the geographical constrains. It took me some time to get to their points. Some points are clearly stated during their facilitation which is appreciated, thanks a lot.

The group was useful in helping us understand the case at the higher level. The constant questioning enabled us to think throughouly, read more carefully into the readings for more detailed information. Also, the generousity of the group in buying us sweets as incentives to spaek up in class definitely help to keep the class alive, as well as help us with our class participation. haha well done! =)

The interaction between the facilitators and the class was great! Using the lollipops as an incentive to get the class to answer worked Saurabh started the presentation off well as he was able to command the audience’s attention. Wei Kiat added much humour to the presentation with some of his antics which I felt was good Eaint and Aisya were clear in presenting the class views on the board. Overalll, great faciliatation

The sweets were a very innovative idea, though it was somewhat distracting when the facilitator is speaking and lollipops are passed around. The group did a good job in their allocation of work, breaking down the discussion into various parts and suming it up together.

The team did a great job explaining how PSA came about and how they expanded in a very interactive way. Some improvements could be visual aids and examples of similar corporations. More variety of sweets next time! Good job!

The team drew mind maps onto the whiteboard to show the business processes of the case, PSA and discuss with the class.Instead of spoon feeding the class with answers, the team uses an innovative way to facilitate class participation, which is to give away sweets for every answer given. This resulted in one had to really think about the questions and come out with an answer for the “sweet incentive.” It’s all right when one gives the wrong answer and the team will still give him the “sweet incentive” for attempting to answer the questions.

The whole job was very impressive. The facilitators were very confident about their performances. The process, they used by giving lollipop to the student who answers their questions, was also very fascinating. I liked their performances.

There weren’t much discussion on business strategies, challenges etc. besides highlighting the key points. The presentation started pretty well, gradually went down but reached a somewhat clear conclusion.

They integrated the whiteboard with powerpoint slides with minimal words. Most of the explainations were written on the whiteboard as they try to facilitate the discussion of the case like how a lecturer will. It was great as it enables the class to interact and when they jot down our points on the board, they made us feel like we are really in the discussion. Also the team has a very clear understanding of the case thus being able to come up with points which we may have missed. Honestly, the sweets made my day so hopefully other groups who are presenting the following weeks come up with goodies to reward those who participate.

They lead us well through the case study as they probe and let us think into deeper thoughts instead of directly giving us the expected response. The giving out of lollipop is a good way of encouraging participation.

They were great in getting the class to participate and ensured everyone was paying attention to the case they presented. However, I thought the pointers mentioned by the class should have already be listed in the presentation slides as the writings on the blackboard were clustered all over. If you miss a portion of the presentation, I might get lost in nowhere’s land. Otherwise, the presentation was great!

This case facilitation has helped many of our peers to speak up and contribute their opinions. Contributions of opinions in such a manner engages everyone in a active discussion and this gives us an idea of how future case discussions will be like. Initially I thought it will be difficult to hold a case discussion in a class of over forty people, but it had turned out to be interesting and it allows everyone to participate in one way or another, at the very least keeping our minds thinking. The facilitation was carried out in quite an orderly manner at the beginning, but towards the second half everyone was freely voicing out whatever they had in mind. This could have prevented some people who are less vocal from speaking. Hence case facilitators can help these people, maybe by allowing them a chance to speak by directing questions to certain individuals who haven´t had a chance to talk, so as not to be overshadowed by others who are more bold whom speak out often. Overall I think it was a good effort by the team.

Today case facilitator was very new, whereby the team fully utilizes the board & PowerPoint slide, I was expecting a debut session for it. The idea of disturbing sweets when the audience gives feedback was also very creative, which will give the class to come up with more question to make the session more lively.

for a start, the use of sweets to attract participation and gather opinions was a good move – especially for a lesson early in the morning.

weikiat was a dynamic and enthusiastic presenter, generating lots of creative ideas.

The facilitation team has helped me understood the essence of the PSA success factors and its history within a short period of time, summarising what i have read in the thick 20 page case study. thumbs up to them!

very interactive! It was an excellent recap to the PSA case.

However, i believe that there should have been more explanations in terms of what exactly portnet is. I think it would’ve been more complete that way. Also, it would be interesting if you added a section on all that PSA has achieved today, in 2009! yupp, thats just a suggestion!

On the whole, well explained and well done! Thanks for the presentation. I enjoyed it!

Thank you people! Will bear all these in mind and try to improve in my/our future presentations!

SMU is a second home

How true that statement was. I feel like a stay-out clerk now, going home only to sleep, and working my ass off in the day.

At the end of the day, reaching home at 10+pm, I don’t feel like doing anything else already, although I know there are still many things to do, like preparing for the Econs Quiz and also for the projects. Chatting on MSN with friends, I found many new and interesting things, which certainly helped me forget the stress of the day.

Coupled with sweet, warmth music coming out from my Little Dot MKIII, I love to be home more than ever.

Projects, keep away!

Things to do
Creative Journal
LTB Learning Journal (for lesson 2)
Hand written AS assignment
Prepare for Econs quiz
Prepare for next Econs Lesson
LTB Project
IS101 Project
Watch UP with GF on friday.

Where did all the fun go?

Is SMU fun?

Certainly so. Until school starts. Suddenly all the fun disappeared. Like the way air would be suck out from your lungs the moment you enter a vacuum.

Everyone is asking the same thing. Everyone is stressed. Everyone is sad.

I need more time to get used to this. This is more shag than charging 7 people in a day, my unit’s record.

First day of school after 2 years

The excitement of school. The quick, unsure steps. Today marks school day again for me after a long period of more than 2 years where I was put into an entirely different situation, one that of extreme regimentation where every single things I do was dictated.

Now, with my freedom back, I embark on a new milestone of my life. I can’t help feeling lost. There is no one to force me to wake up on time for school, and there is no one to knock me down if I never arrive 10minutes early for any lessons. What should I do? But in the company of fantastic friends, this lost sheep has found its favorite tree.

And i passed my IS200 exemption test in half the time given and with flying colours. According to beloved scary Prof Yeow Leong, mine was a “clear-cut” pass.

Congrats me by making a donation to Feed-Hungry-Weikiat-Investment-Fund?

Thank you.

DSLR for Photography Society?

Recently I’ve been giving alot of thoughts as to which CCA I should join in SMU which would give me the most real-world benefit while providing a break from IT related stuff and at the same time is something that I am also interested in. I’ve decided on Photography Society.

BUT.

I don’t own any DSLR.

A second hand budget DSLR with kit lens would cost me about $550, but with kit lens the photographs would be no better or possibly worst than the Prosumer camera I currently own. Getting a DSLR would also mean a huge chunk of money out of my already flat bank account. Or I may have to sell away my Little Dot MkIII AND one of my R/C car to acquire it.

But then, after some discussions friends, I have arrived at the conclusion that my current prosumer is good enough for all photography needs (except night photography). What matters in photography is not so much the equipment, but rather the person behind the camera.

I can already see how exciting it would be to be the only person not using DSLR and taking just as good photos as the rest in Photography society…

The problem now lies in how not to be a laughing stock as the only one without DSLR and joining that CCA.

Will they even accept me?

Helpful? Too helpful? Take aways from Java Enrichment Course

Firstly, some have commented that SMU timetable look so slack… but the reality is hardly so. According to my seniors, this would be a more accurate depiction of an SMU timetable.

Today is the day 2 of the Sun Microsystem Foundation Java Enrichment course. Why did I sign up for it?
-Despite having knowledge of programming etc, I have no formal IT training. This course will provide a certificate so that I can finally have a documentary proof that I know programming
-I need to learn Java to take part in the IS200 exemption test and Java is SIS requirement.
-Revise and consolidate various programming stuff which I pick up here and there during my self-directed learning
-I love programming.

As it turned out, I already know most of the stuff taught over the past 2 days, and I realized that the lesson was conducted at too fast a pace for other students who had no prior background, and I took it upon myself to try my best to guide and help those sitting around me to understand some more difficult concepts and to help them with their practical. Looking at them learn programming reminded me of how much difficulties I had when I first learn programming 8 years ago and I felt obliged to help them. As I told my friends to approach me if they encounter any difficulties, it occurred to me that by doing so, was I trying to be too helpful? To the extend where I may be seemed as a hao lian person? I certainly hope not. Oh well.

It was not as if I know everything that was taught over the past 2 days. I picked up a few interesting tibits of information as well during the lesson.

I guess from the way one learns programming you can know so much about a person. My good buddy Chuen Full absolutely loves experimenting around with different codes, to the extend where I ended up being rude to him to ask him to focus on the questions. I was a victim of being too innovative in my coding which I presumed to have eventually cost me a B in A Level computing when I was so confident that I could get an A. I can tell that Chuen Full is very passionate about IT and is highly creative. Linda was such a fast learner (unsurprisingly) and it was almost as if she had learnt Java before and this course was just a refresher course for her. No doubt a very smart person. Weiyi seems abit blur at the beginning but she caught on just fine. She is like the tortoise in the hare and tortoise race. Her preserverance and determination is something that I totally admire and should learn from.

The Sun Microsystem Foundation Java Programming Enrichment Course costs 1.2k to enroll outside, and SMU was fantastic enough to provide us similar Enrichment Course (following the same syllabus, and also the same certification), at just $25 to cover cost of the course materials. You gotta love SMU. This is a fine example of a fantastic institute of learning.

2.5days of the Enrichment Course left. Tiring, but I look forward to it. Beats rotting at home watching anime and emo-ing.